Establishing boundaries


Healthy psychological boundaries, consistently and consciously applied are our first fight for liberty and self-awareness. So for example, if an acquaintance of mine crosses a boundary, such as in using physical violence, even though he or she calms down later, I learn that this kind of person should not be in my life. And no matter how much I enjoy his or her company in other situations, the fact that they are willing to cross my personal boundary in a given situation is intolerable for me. Marcelo Ramos Motta wrote that one should lose ‘racial consciousness’ and what he meant was family heritage. In other words, the idea that ‘blood is thicker than water’ is a foolish notion that allows our families to hold us in certain cyclic ruts as they can tap the deepest buttons on our psyche; buttons that won’t be undone and that are embedded in our psyche from our earliest moments in infancy. […] They would not expect to keep from transgressing our boundaries as they have the life-long habit of doing so. And so clinging to one’s nuclear family is literally clinging to one’s unconsciousness and choosing to remain asleep, but for the comforts of family. Hold everyone in your life to your boundaries; if a relative transgresses them, act in the same way you would a new acquaintance in your life. You will find this a very hard thing to do, especially at first, but growth is almost always painful. In this process, you will wake up to your dignity and your liberty and at least this tiny part of the work will be done. But note, this process must become a permanent fixture in your actions and responses to life and living situations. The act of employing this ‘reason’ is an on-going process that you will meet with over and over again.

– Paul Joseph Rovelli, Morals & Magickal Integrity


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